Still a bit discouraged

but I now have a plan. It's been such a shock to the system having to eat so much. Telling an ex-anorexic to gain weight? Talk about a mental freakout. But I think I can work this so it's not quite so traumatic. I'm going to shoot for 2250 calories. Ok so it's not 2500 but it's closer than 1700-1800 I've been doing. If I do 3 meals of 500 calories and 3 snacks at 250 calories, that will do it. It seems like a much better plan than what I've been doing which has been either binging at the end of the day to meet my calories, or pigging out at breakfast so I have a hope of making the calories. So I need to plan out my meals and snacks a bit more carefully but I think this will do it. Wish me luck.

Had my Dr. Appt today

Not great news.

My sugar was high. :( They did a blood glucose check and it was also high (122). They suspect it's because my calories are so low. So I'm under orders to seriously bulk up my calories. As in a 50% increase.

Going to the grocery tonight I was so seriously depressed at the amount of crap in the trolley. I mean, I know I need it, but still. :/ I'm trying my best to get over the mental block of the scale going back up. I know I need to do this, but it's hard. I know the way I've been eating over the last year is hardly "normal" but it worked for me. It was healthy and good. Now I have to go back to more "normal" foods, higher fat meats, many more potatoes, etc.

If I can get up to 2500 (what the doc recommended) I might have the energy to exercise and dance. Right now I can barely work. In fact I've been off the last two days to try to sort this out. Wish me luck.

I'm supposed to perform tomorrow and I'm hoping I'll be able to. Right now I can't even practice. Here's hoping I can pull some energy from somewhere for tomorrow.

Pregnancy update

Things are still plugging along on that front. I'm not as tired or pukey as I was, which is a very good thing. I broke down and bought two pairs of maternity trousers. I don't really need them yet, but my "glutening" jeans look really bad on me. :) I'm still not gaining weight, which is a good thing at the mo. I'm sure I will do, but right now, all is still good. I've been trying to exercise still, and dance, and haven't really changed my diet all that much (still eating healthy as ever), but trying to add a few more calories in than usual. So yeah, it's just like our wedding, lots of hurry up and wait. :)